Monday, April 2, 2012

Time flies.

Can someone please tell me how in the world is it APRIL already?! Please? I swear I just remember getting all dressed up with my blue sparkly dress and silver sparkly heels for NYE 2012.

I remember just having my daughters first birthday party. And she is now a year and a half? Time seriously flies times a million. Please slow down. I think it is truer when you have kids, time really does surpass us all.

Speaking of time, it's that time again, just about. In about 25 more days (24 tomorrow) 3 years ago at 9:16 in the morning I heard the tiniest cats meow cry coming from my baby as she was being brought out into this world, 12 weeks too soon. I cannot believe she would be three years old. I just cannot. I remember having that feeling a good part of my pregnancy that something wasn't right I just couldn't pin point it out. I kept telling my mom and sure enough I was right. I knew me being so little and barely showing and swelling early on wasn't right.

I wish I had known I would be delivering 3 months pre maturely I would have done everything in my power to help her grow or stay pregnant as long as I safely could. But I was already way too sick. Delivery was STAT the morning of April 27th 2009.

Time. It feels so long ago that I had and saw my sweet pea yet sometimes it feels like weeks ago. Everytime I pass by the funeral home, which it's on the way to the mall I go often, I just cringe. I vision her In her coffin. I try and tell myself to stop not to remember her or see her like that. But that is the last time I saw her. She was gone.

Speaking of time flying by, it's already 10 pm and I am beat. My mind is out and scattered and I feel somewhat emotional and just empty tonight. I think it's time I say goodnight and save my words for another time. I simply miss her and wish I can turn back time. I really simply do just for a moment.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


Elle's mommy said...

Thinking of you, Jill. I will keep you and your family in my prayers during this precious time...God bless you girl...


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