Monday, March 26, 2012

Silly Smiles of Sadie!

I simply just love this little girl to pieces. Day after day for personality keeps coming through and she just cracks me up with the things she does. I keep telling her she should go apply at the local nail salon! She just goes about yapping away in her own little language telling me god knows what. She certainly has a mouthful to say. I can only wait until they are full words and sentences! Yesterday she made this funny face and noise with her nose and just waits to see what mommy will do or how I will react. She's a character I tell you. I have a little comedian on hand.

I just cannot get over her vocabulary. I have to write a list and get her on video saying all the words she knows. I swear it expands daily. Other day I taught her to say "blue!" . She is one very smart cookie.

But also I am seeing more of the "terrific twos shining through" yes I said terrific twos! ;) the other day she did not want to leave the store so she sits down on the floor and then lays down was pulling one of those "I'm not leaving mom". Oh yes you are little girlie. Mommy just picked her up while she kicked and screamed as if I were kidnapping her. Boy she is a handful and some. I always tell others she is like having two kids in one. She is very high Maintenence and constantly needs interaction. She keeps me going from sun up til sun down!

We had a good weekend, played outdoors a lot, did errands with Mommy's friend and even had a terrible bang cut thrown in there. Yes Sadie will not let mommy out pins in her hair to clip back get bangs in her face. And her bangs from the first cut grandma did have grown in her eyes. Instead of waiting for grandma to cut them, I took a shot at it on my own. BAD IDEA. But hey don't we all have those bad haircut stories?! ;) I refuse to cut her curly hair just her bangs. Mommy wants her hair to stay!

How was your weekend?! :)

This one picture of me when I was little hangs up in the garage I HAVE no idea why but anyways I took a picture of it. When I was at Target with my friend and Sadie, she put on sunglasses and I hurried and took my phone out and snapped the best I could befre she yanked them off her face. And I tell you she looks just like mama! What do you think?!

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Monday, March 19, 2012

Life can change in a split second...

And I am a first witness to that. Life can change in a split second.-a lot of people take life for granted. You must truly live like there will be no tomorrow.

Last night, I knew I should not have watched this episode of Desperate Housewives. I choose to anyway. I knew before that it was going to be quite an emotional episode, the funeral of a main chapters husband. Within the first few minute my eyes welled up with tears and I could be seen wiping them away. Then came the final goodbye, the funeral itself, the music, every bit of it, oh tears we're just streaming down my face. Memories all flooded back to me.

Of my own daughters funeral. Vanessa Williams sang Amazing Grace. That song was in Naomi's funeral. Then when Susan was saying goodbye to her husband and just the pain felt so raw again. I pictured my sweet little girl laying there in the tiny coffin. Just tore me apart and the whole time I was wishing my best friend Was sitting with me watching so ER can cry together.

Then came the news. I normally do not watch the news but I wanted to see more on this terrible story that I happened to read about on my Facebook feed that must have happened very close to where my friend and I were at the beach Sunday afternoon. This late 20 something year old pregnant woman from MA and her husband were vacationing here in FL near the beach and were leaving soon to go back home. The 27 or so year old woman and husband were expecting their first child, 7 months pregnant. They both decided to use the restroom and this car coming at a fast rate of speed loses control and crashes into the woman's bathroom, killing the mother to be and her unborn child instantly. The father to be was head asking Hy why us? Why me? They were going to go home. I could not imagine being having to go home without your wife and unborn baby back hours on a plane. My heart truly goes out to him and family. Being all emotional from the show, I cried at this.

Another story right after that broke my heart even more. I swear this world has no sympathy or heart. A beautiful 5 year old girl was riding her bike when two 18 year olds (who are not legal to drive) hit her. The one brought her to her mother and fled the scene. REALLY?!? Also was seen trying to hide her bike as if nothing happened. The mother drove her injured daughter and met paramedics on the highway and she didn't make it. The news showed her mom finding out the news and it just TORE ME APART. Her other daughter 7 years old was shown on video with tears streaming down her face talking about her sister. Oh both those scenes just brought out the flood gates again. I just wanted to reach out and hug that mom. I wanted to wake up Sadie and hold her.

Life can change in an instant. Truly live in the moment, the second, the minute. Tell your loved ones you love them. Give them a hug, be kind.

And to top it off, my pain carried on into the next day. I woke up feeling just down and so so sad. Sadie woke up and my dad was in charge to watch her. As I needed to leave for clinical she was hysterically crying and reaching out for me saying "mama" mama and it tore me apart and MADE ME CRY. I wanted to stay home sooooo bad.

To top it off, when I arrived home from clinical I was sooooooo excited and anxious to see my little girl and I notice my sisters car is here but they weren't here. So I call her and she says "were at the hospital. Sadie got hurt." I go WHAT?!?!? She said "oh I am just kidding, we are down the street walking". I got SO MAD,, I was about to break down. After all this and especially what I went through YOU DO NOT joke about that. I told my mom tonight and she didn't think it was a big deal. Really?!? Let me see you lose one of us and see how you react to someone joking about another child of yours being hurt.


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Saturday, March 17, 2012


Will you kiss me even if I am not Irish?
Happy St. PADDY's Day aka an excuse for drunks to be "allowed" to drink and drink.
What are your plans for the day? So far, I have played outside in the beautiful yet HOT as the dickens sun with my sweets and my nephew and went for a run while she napped.
I had plans to go out tonight with a group of friends "bar hopping" as they call it but when I agreed days ago I was NOT thinking..there will be idiots on the road and they most likely will stay out pretty late and I much rather have "my mommy day" on spring break before going back to lame school Monday, spending a couple hours in the sun with my friends with a drink in hand tomorrow! Sounds way better than being hung over the next day. Much rather work on my "tan".
This spring break I went to the beach twice with my friend and with Sadie! We had a blast but I would like some ME time to just lounge out and not have to chase after her ;). So my mom said she would watch her for a few hours tomorrow. I am excited!
I have priorities and responsiblity and something is telling me to stay put tonight. God forbid anything happened to me, and the thought of never seeing my little girl again, oh I rather stay put!
Besides, I have some homework and laundry to do and pictures to organize and tomorrow I can lounge out and enjoy my last day of spring break, and at night watch DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES!
I am addicted to Pinterest and I saw these funny pins I thought I would share but does and will NOT pertain to me today or tonight :).
Please be safe and enjoy excuse to get drunk and get your party on, have some for me!!


Thought these were all super cute ideas!
Btw, the little leprechaun came and visited my house!! Oh my!
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Friday, March 16, 2012


March 16, 2012.

A whopping 18 months old that is. How can that be?!? Me oh my, my oh me. I still remember that morning and my dr and some other surgeon possibly yapping away in Spanish while he was working away at cutting me open to deliver my baby girl. I remember I was wondering what they were saying but I know I heard something about my previous delivery with Naomi.

I watched the big oh clock and as I felt pressure on my stomach, the clock turned 11:00 on the dot and my baby girl was BORN! I remember hearing a cry, and asking if that were her. I remember someone put her over me all wrapped up in a Blankey and let me see her. I remember her puffy little cheeks, just like ER mama. I for a second thought, is she really mine? I quickly have her little soft cheek a smooch and they took her away.

I remember the next day I calling the NICU to see how she was and the person who answered said she will be coming to your room. My mouth dropped. I was going to get to see and have my daughter with me. I was excited, I was scared, I was nervous. Two girls brought her in and handed her to me. I didn't know what to do. And miss queen of children I should. I was in shock I think. Then it was time to feed her. Wasn't ready to nurse but I gave her a bottle and I remember her kind of choking and spitting up. I handed her to my mom I was scared. It all seemed so confusing yet she was my own to take care of.

I remember friends and family visiting. I Remember my mom coming after work up to check on us and see how we were. I remember she once came up with my friend Amanda and I was just so. So. So. So. Tired. I cried I was so tired.,I told her I need sleep, she had to tell my friend to come up some other time. I could not keep my eyes open any longer.

I remember being in a wheel chair on the day of discharge And it being so surreal. I remember being wheeled out through the hospital with a big ole grin on my face while holding my newborn daughter that I got to TAKE HOME. I remember getting wheeled out to the car. I remember that car ride home. Oh she cried all the way home. Made me nervous. Should have been or maybe was a sign of what's to come, haha. Still is not a fan of car rides to this day ;).

And my gosh was it a journey, a very sleep deprived and exciting journey, and it still is. I cannot tell you or explain how much LOVE and JOY little Sadie brings to my heart, my life. She truly makes my world go round. She gives me purpose. Her little face, her smile, get laughter, the silly things she does, it all makes me feel like I am in love, with my daughter. How can someone have so much love for a human being? It is truly possible. She is the definition of LOVE.

Today she is 18 months old. She just learned her name 2 days ago. She is more of a climber now. She still of course needs to be entertained every single second, and thats okay! That's her :). She does not sleep through the night still but yesterday slept from 9-6 am! And back to bed til 9:30, I WILL TAKE IT!!! She loves her "mama" as she can't say grandma yet . She loves going for bike tides she loves the outside, she is truly a nature girl at heart. She could work in a nail salon, with the "conversations" she has lately with us. I swear she has these stories or lots to say, it is too cute. Just wish I knew what she was trying to say!

This morning we took a mini photo shoot as always in "the chair" and a bike ride around. Thn rushed home to get ready for the beach! We had an awesome time in the sun, sand and ocean! She did a LOT better having toys with her than earlier this week. We went with my friend Krystal from high school. As my spring break comes to an end, I say that day toppled it all. We had a great day of fun sun and laughter!



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