My, how time is just flying on by...

It has been a while before I have gotten a chance to update! I am such a busy & sleep deprived mommy but I absolutely love it and would not change anything for the world! Busy doing baby laundary, mama laundary, and between feedings and diaper changes and baths, and all that fun stuff, keeps me on my toes! Just wait until my little Sadie starts to crawl, now I think I am busy? Wait until then! I am oh so anxious for all of the "firsts" to start but then I get sad and think I won't ever get to see Naomi have this. But I know she is watching over and keeping a good eye on mama & her little sister.

A week or so ago, I had 2 incidents where Sadie stopped breathing while feeding and I had to swiftly pat her on the back a couple times to get her to breathe again, but it scared the CRAP out of me which had me shaken and in tears. How could I not? I did not like seeing her like that and I kept saying oh God please dont take this one away from me. I suffered enough already. So I made an appoinment for her pediatritions office because some of my friends thought maybe apnea or reflux. The on call dr there said to be on safe side to take her to the hospital for 24 hr admissions. Might I had, Sadie did NOT turn blue, but both times looked pale & once her eyes rolled back which freaked me out thought this is not good. So I took her to the hospital what a sad & scary time that was.

She had to get her vitals done, did not like the blood pressure cuff thingy, I had never seen such a tiny little cuff before! Then she had to get blood and urine done. They had to tie her little arm up just as they would a normal size patient and she screamed & cried, 2 nurses were in there helping and asked if I was okay, I had tears in my eyes and I started to cry I said no and they said I can step out while they do it. I did and cried more, but kept peaking in on her I HATED hearing her scream & cry and be in pain but it had to be done, I then came in when almost done and comforted her. They had her on with a gown that she was practically swimming in.

She did well tho, those whole 24 hrs they didn't see anything wrong on her tests or breathing or anything so could not say if it was apnea or reflux. We are now home and I have witnesses a little bit of spitups and well a few almost type gagging looks where she will open her mouth as if something is going to come up but doesnt. I got a voicemail this morning from her dr checking on her and wanted us to make an appointment this week to see her to check on weight gain and feedings so we will be going tomorrow morning at 8 am. I have a few questions on a few things so hopefully can get them answered.

Yesterday, I carved Sadie's first pumpkin. I was going to put both Sadie & Naomi's name on them but it didn't fit so I will be going back this week to get Naomi her very own. So far, things have been going well, I just cannot believe she is almost 6 weeks already. Time is going so fast! Sadie smiles so much now it is so cute and melts my heart. I like to think that it is Naomi whispering to her or talking to her that makes her smile.

I am anxious on whats to come & especially Christmas time, I will love to take her out on stroller rides to look at the lights and to sit on Santa's lap. But I do also think, in a few more months, I will have to start looking into working and schooling, which scares the hell out of me. I love being home with her but yet I know I have to support her, can't stay here forever. I just dont know exactly what I am going to do but I know in time it will all fall into place. I just am scared about where I will put her and I just dont want to miss anything in my little girls life! I love her & her big sister to pieces!