Last night, I knew I should not have watched this episode of Desperate Housewives. I choose to anyway. I knew before that it was going to be quite an emotional episode, the funeral of a main chapters husband. Within the first few minute my eyes welled up with tears and I could be seen wiping them away. Then came the final goodbye, the funeral itself, the music, every bit of it, oh tears we're just streaming down my face. Memories all flooded back to me.
Of my own daughters funeral. Vanessa Williams sang Amazing Grace. That song was in Naomi's funeral. Then when Susan was saying goodbye to her husband and just the pain felt so raw again. I pictured my sweet little girl laying there in the tiny coffin. Just tore me apart and the whole time I was wishing my best friend Was sitting with me watching so ER can cry together.
Then came the news. I normally do not watch the news but I wanted to see more on this terrible story that I happened to read about on my Facebook feed that must have happened very close to where my friend and I were at the beach Sunday afternoon. This late 20 something year old pregnant woman from MA and her husband were vacationing here in FL near the beach and were leaving soon to go back home. The 27 or so year old woman and husband were expecting their first child, 7 months pregnant. They both decided to use the restroom and this car coming at a fast rate of speed loses control and crashes into the woman's bathroom, killing the mother to be and her unborn child instantly. The father to be was head asking Hy why us? Why me? They were going to go home. I could not imagine being having to go home without your wife and unborn baby back hours on a plane. My heart truly goes out to him and family. Being all emotional from the show, I cried at this.
Another story right after that broke my heart even more. I swear this world has no sympathy or heart. A beautiful 5 year old girl was riding her bike when two 18 year olds (who are not legal to drive) hit her. The one brought her to her mother and fled the scene. REALLY?!? Also was seen trying to hide her bike as if nothing happened. The mother drove her injured daughter and met paramedics on the highway and she didn't make it. The news showed her mom finding out the news and it just TORE ME APART. Her other daughter 7 years old was shown on video with tears streaming down her face talking about her sister. Oh both those scenes just brought out the flood gates again. I just wanted to reach out and hug that mom. I wanted to wake up Sadie and hold her.
Life can change in an instant. Truly live in the moment, the second, the minute. Tell your loved ones you love them. Give them a hug, be kind.
And to top it off, my pain carried on into the next day. I woke up feeling just down and so so sad. Sadie woke up and my dad was in charge to watch her. As I needed to leave for clinical she was hysterically crying and reaching out for me saying "mama" mama and it tore me apart and MADE ME CRY. I wanted to stay home sooooo bad.
To top it off, when I arrived home from clinical I was sooooooo excited and anxious to see my little girl and I notice my sisters car is here but they weren't here. So I call her and she says "were at the hospital. Sadie got hurt." I go WHAT?!?!? She said "oh I am just kidding, we are down the street walking". I got SO MAD,, I was about to break down. After all this and especially what I went through YOU DO NOT joke about that. I told my mom tonight and she didn't think it was a big deal. Really?!? Let me see you lose one of us and see how you react to someone joking about another child of yours being hurt.
Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone