A Reason to Live...: A WHOPPING 18.

March 16, 2012.

A whopping 18 months old that is. How can that be?!? Me oh my, my oh me. I still remember that morning and my dr and some other surgeon possibly yapping away in Spanish while he was working away at cutting me open to deliver my baby girl. I remember I was wondering what they were saying but I know I heard something about my previous delivery with Naomi.

I watched the big oh clock and as I felt pressure on my stomach, the clock turned 11:00 on the dot and my baby girl was BORN! I remember hearing a cry, and asking if that were her. I remember someone put her over me all wrapped up in a Blankey and let me see her. I remember her puffy little cheeks, just like ER mama. I for a second thought, is she really mine? I quickly have her little soft cheek a smooch and they took her away.

I remember the next day I calling the NICU to see how she was and the person who answered said she will be coming to your room. My mouth dropped. I was going to get to see and have my daughter with me. I was excited, I was scared, I was nervous. Two girls brought her in and handed her to me. I didn't know what to do. And miss queen of children I should. I was in shock I think. Then it was time to feed her. Wasn't ready to nurse but I gave her a bottle and I remember her kind of choking and spitting up. I handed her to my mom I was scared. It all seemed so confusing yet she was my own to take care of.

I remember friends and family visiting. I Remember my mom coming after work up to check on us and see how we were. I remember she once came up with my friend Amanda and I was just so. So. So. So. Tired. I cried I was so tired.,I told her I need sleep, she had to tell my friend to come up some other time. I could not keep my eyes open any longer.

I remember being in a wheel chair on the day of discharge And it being so surreal. I remember being wheeled out through the hospital with a big ole grin on my face while holding my newborn daughter that I got to TAKE HOME. I remember getting wheeled out to the car. I remember that car ride home. Oh she cried all the way home. Made me nervous. Should have been or maybe was a sign of what's to come, haha. Still is not a fan of car rides to this day ;).

And my gosh was it a journey, a very sleep deprived and exciting journey, and it still is. I cannot tell you or explain how much LOVE and JOY little Sadie brings to my heart, my life. She truly makes my world go round. She gives me purpose. Her little face, her smile, get laughter, the silly things she does, it all makes me feel like I am in love, with my daughter. How can someone have so much love for a human being? It is truly possible. She is the definition of LOVE.

Today she is 18 months old. She just learned her name 2 days ago. She is more of a climber now. She still of course needs to be entertained every single second, and thats okay! That's her :). She does not sleep through the night still but yesterday slept from 9-6 am! And back to bed til 9:30, I WILL TAKE IT!!! She loves her "mama" as she can't say grandma yet . She loves going for bike tides she loves the outside, she is truly a nature girl at heart. She could work in a nail salon, with the "conversations" she has lately with us. I swear she has these stories or lots to say, it is too cute. Just wish I knew what she was trying to say!

This morning we took a mini photo shoot as always in "the chair" and a bike ride around. Thn rushed home to get ready for the beach! We had an awesome time in the sun, sand and ocean! She did a LOT better having toys with her than earlier this week. We went with my friend Krystal from high school. As my spring break comes to an end, I say that day toppled it all. We had a great day of fun sun and laughter!

HAPPY 18 MONTHS SWEET SADIE! I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK.