I am one of the lucky ones I like to think. Some were robbed at meeting their sweet babies who were stillborn due to this ugly, ugly disorder, Preeclampsia. Some, I have come to know, had to make that gut wrenching choice to continue or stop treatment. Naomi, lived 35 short days. I spent 11 hours or so each day visiting her, getting updates on her, taking pictures of her, having family and friends come up to see her, changing her, taking her temperature. I was given time with her, I got to meet my daughter. Then she just got very I'll, and she was just too tiny. The infection took over her body, she was oh so perfect, 10 fingers, 10 toes, the cutest nose, beautiful eyes, two ears. Had it all. Just was too premature.
28 weeks I carried her for. All along I knew something wasn't right. I just felt it. I acknowledged it with my dr and the swelling early on and here small I was. Just didn't seem right to me. But she wrote it off as normal even tho it wasn't. Not at the stage I was in pregnancy.
Not a day that goes by that I don't think of her or miss her or wonder how she'd be today. What would she look like? What would she be doing? What, if any, would the struggles I have raising a preemie? I wish she were here. I wish I could see her.
This morning, as tradition, I took Sadie to the beach, ended up meeting with another BLM and I let a balloon go up to Naomi at 9:16. I cried, as I watched it fly away up into the sky. My friend consoled me and we cried together. After all she was told on April 27, two years ago she was going to have a c -section Ag 26 weeks but instead was sent home only to come back hours later and have one the next night. We have become so close due to our similar stories in loss. She's been there for me just as my other close friends have and I can't thank enough. Tomorrow I will be going to her place with a small family get together to celebrate her sons would be 2 yr birthday and Naomi's would be 3 . It is going to be another very emotional Day for both of us.
I love you Naomi Hope. Miss you so much and little Sister Sadie loves you too. When mommy would cry she would look at me and say "Emi" all day today. <3
Fly high baby girl.
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