~*You are all around~*

On the 18th of August, was my mom's birthday. My family and I all went out to a restaurnt to celebrate her birthday for dinner. We were all sitting down & something came up about how I had drank a bit too much and got sick at the beach condo. I did not know why that had been brought up and I was confused. My mom then goes "she had an excuse" and looked with a sad face at me. It then clicked.

That a month or two after I had lost Naomi, I was staying at my parents condo, because I could not go home, I had wanted to be away and the beach was that place. I drank alot, thinking the pain would somewhat go away, it would double, with the alcohol. Anyways, I then started to think back to those days (while at table) and I just got very teary eyed, telling myself please do not break down at this table, its my mother's birthday. I just remembered how much of pain I was in, I did not know what to do with myself in those days and months after her death.

I decided to get up to use the restroom & try & take a breather. Well I was finishing up in the restroom and I started to hear a very faint song playing. I thought I was hearing things, but I listened very closely and sure enough that was it. "Home" by Chris Daughtry was playing out of all songs on their system, this one was playing. I started to bawl my eyes out. This song was played when Naomi was being born, when I was on the operating table. I just could not believe it, I kissed my necklace & tried to clean up my face and walk back out. I just did not expect that at all, yet in a way, I had a bit of peace after that, yet I still ached badly.

On another note, please pray for my mother's friend. My mom told me a couple days ago (August 15) that a coworker of hers (a nurse) lost her 21 yr old daughter. Her daughter was murdered & the ex or bf had killed her dogs as well, and then commited suicide. My mom will be attending her memorial service later tonight. My mom & I briefly spoke about it, and she had told me I know the pain. Yes, I very much do so. This world is so cruel, makes me so sickened and heartbroken for this family. No mother or family, should ever have to bury their own children, EVER.

May you RIP & be with my baby girl Naomi.