Saturday, April 24, 2010

Signs & Birthday on its way here...

Yesterday, April 23rd, I felt Naomi was all around me, yet it was hard. When I went for a walk in the morning with my dog, a beautiful yellow butterfly was flapping its wings and fluttering around and I kept staring at it and smiled, and then looked upon the sky and kept on walking. Later during the day I had a planned lunch with my sister, mom, and mom's friend, that didn't really go. But thats another story.

When my mom and I arrived together, we sat in the car for a minute before getting out and I saw a yellow butterfly fluttering in front of the car through the front window. I was like wow, another yellow butterfly, and they are bright yellow. Such beautiful creatures. Again, I thought, Naomi, youre everywhere.

I went in Applebees, and met with my sister & moms friend. We were talking for maybe 10 15 minutes, well they were, I just didnt feel like talking much, I ordered a beverage. Then all of a sudden I just had to run to the restroom and I started bawling my eyes out. I couldn't stop. I then was able to calm myself somewhat and I went back to the table but asked my mom for the keys, I didn't want to sit anymore for lunch even though I ordered my food. I even started crying in the restraunt, not like me and I ran out.

I sat in the car and started crying some more to let it out fully. I then thought let me turn on the radio. Out of all songs, all stations, the song "Home" by Chris Daughtry was on and playing. I started crying even more. That song was playing when Naomi was born. I thought what is going on today??? Then I also saw the yellow butterfly again, but this time it fluttered in front of the car for maybe a few seconds and then went away. As if Naomi was saying hi mommy and that shes with me.

So well then later on yesterday, my best friend and I had a sleepover at my parents beach condo but before that we decided to have some dinner. We went to Pei Wei. We sat down had our food and I opened my fortune cookie. I about almost had a heart attack. I was shocked, yet couldnt cry. I told my best friend youre not going to believe this, heck I still dont. And I never read much into fortunes, im not one for them. But I read it to her. "A small gift can bring joy to the whome family". This fortune has a special meaning to it as well as what it reads. After I had Naomi, shortly after, possibly a day or 2 after, my father brought me in a fortune, when I was in the hospital, and it read exactly those same words. I was just beyond shocked.

What a day full of being surrounded by Naomi and or some signs.

Naomi's birthday is in 3 more days (pretty much 2) and I cannot believe it. Tonight I was making a box, wrapping it, and cutting a hole in it, to be at Naomi's party. I started crying as I was decorating it, I just couldn't believe it. I can't. The box is for donations in leu of gifts, for our March of Dimes team walk on May 8th. We will give the donations we receive to our team, for the MOD.

I am thinking maybe I shouldn't have planned a little party or get together for her. I am just imaginging I will be so emotional. I have about 7 to 8 friends coming and 2 family members. Yet its her day, and I want to make it special. She made me a mommy and we are celebrating Naomi's life .


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