Thursday, April 29, 2010

Naomi's birthday






After all the worry and anxiety and sadness about the whole nights event coming up, I made it. Naomi's birthday was absolutely beautiful. I could NOT have done it without the help of my wonderful mom. She bought the food and helped with the balloons and other nicknacks and setting up and getting things together.

We arrived at the park, and soon my friends started arriving. Not as many people showed as they said, which I think is kind of rude, I mean I can understand other events or something, but THIS, this is important, a celebration of a life, so short, but that made me a mother. But its okay, because the most important people that I cared about and cared about me, were there! I thank each & every one of you so much. Also for all the birthday wishes and thoughts and candles lit for my angel.

We had food, chatted, had cupcakes, that were ABSOLUTELY beautifully made by my best friend. She is a baker, so perfect, so I wasn't hesitant at all to ask, & she was glad to help. We all then got together and signed balloons. Thats the only time I started to cry. My best friend looked at me just as I was about to write my message to Naomi, she asked if I was okay, and I said no. She came up and held me as I did a little crying. I didn't want to lose it and let it all out there, so I quickly stopped, wrote my message and we were off to release the balloons.

It was a beautiful night and couldn't ask for more. I receieved a few gifts, very unexpected. My mom bought me a beautiful charm bracelet, with a heart engraved with Naomi Hope on it, with a butterfly as a charm, an angel as a charm, and a babyfeet pendent on the back with her birth date (for her 1st birthday 2010). She said she had wished she could buy all my pain away and cried with me and gave me a hug. I also recieved a beautiful snowglobe with a written inscription on it and with Naomi Hope and her birthday as well. The music made me cry, I played it with the candles lit at night with her pictures around.

When I got home, I relit the candles for Naomi to continue burning until 12 midnight and my mom came in and turned off the light and she sang Happy Birthday, I couldn't bring myself to sing. Then at 1am this morning (April 28th) I realized I didn't even put in a candle. I quickly rummaged through my moms things didn't find a candle but then found the number "1" and I thought perfect. I put it on top the cupcake and lit it and sang to her myself as tears streamed down my face, didn't want to blow it out, but I had to.

I was so happy with how everything turned out but it was quite an emotional day, but I hope my beautiful angel was happy with what her mama and "mom mom" did in celebration of her beautiful life even tho it was cut so short, WAY too soon.

Love you beautiful angel, so much & miss you dearly.

4 comments:

*Belle* said...

it all looked so beautiful from the pictures. And as i read i started to cry. I really hate how we have this pain inside of us from now and forever.

(((HUGS)))

michelle hendrix-swords said...

i'm glad you had a good celebration with friends! you are a wonderful mommy. *HUGS*

Malory said...

Your mom words have me in sobs. You understand that love now. Imagine how much she loves you & how much she wishes to take your pain away. Just as you wished for Naomi. I too wish I could ease your pain. Sending you love Jill.

Jill said...

Thank you all <3 yes it was beautiful. I just cannot believe its been a year that she was born. I miss her so so so much! I hate how we all have this pain too, now & forever.

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