Friday, September 24, 2010
Where do I even start? A lot has been going on and has happened since I last was able to post! I have wanted to blog for so long about all of this but just could not get the time until finally now!
I was admitted in to hospital on Friday the 10th of September because of my high blood pressure in the office & my headache that would not go away without tylenol. I thought this time, I am NOT letting them release me no matter what. I will fight them until they listen to me. I was being watched, constant 24 hr monitoring of baby & bp checks every hour, and blood tests quite often. I was becoming a pin cushion but I was already used to it! I was a bit swollen in my face and my feet and arms a bit but thought oh thats because I am on the IV fluids. But apparently not. I was put on iron also, because of my very low iron level and being anemic. I had had headaches here and there in hospital but nothing too bad. My uric acid level was going up slightly and my platelets were a bit low but not too concerning. My doctor had told me lets get to 34 weeks.
A couple days after, I had friends visit and while they were visiting, I had felt awful! As if I had to jump out of my skin, I could not sit still, felt very uncomfortable and just wanted to like die. It was so weird I had never experienced something like that. I felt bad because they were visiting and I could barely pay attention. I didn't think too much of it not reporting to my nurse. I thought maybe it was some weird side effect of one of the meds I was on. Around 2 am that morning, I had to page my nurse. I was having contractions! I thought what the heck is going on? They were painful suckers! I would rate them about a 7 out of 10 in pain. I was shocked, I thought okay I will be given IV fluids and they will stop. WRONG. They were happening boom boom boom like ever 4 to 6 minutes then dropped to 1 to 2 minutes. I was freaking out. The nurse told me to breathe through them I thought omg I am going into labor. The contractions ended up going on for 12 straight hours. The dr and nurses checked me but my cervix never changed just was soft. So I ended up not going into labor but was contracting. Scary!!
The next day or so I had a headache through the night that wasn't going away even with tylenol. My doctor was notified and he almost came in that night to deliver me. The headache was still there in the morning. My reflexes were checked the day before this and they were quite brisk, I had never seen that before with me. So I thought things were definitely progressing with my preeclampsia. So my nurse came on in the morning of September 16, and had told me "I hear they have been talking delivering you". I said What!! And sure enough 2 minutes or so later the change of shift nurse comes in and says she spoke with my dr and that today was the day!!!!! I was so scared, nervous, and excited all at the same time. I knew things were progressing down hill quickly and he knew before that we could only buy another few days and he didnt want to risk anything.
So I was told around 10 I would be going into surgery. I had been texting with a pree mommy that morning anyways and I immediately texted her, she was the first person to find out what TODAY WAS THE DAY! Not even my best friend or mom did I tell but this sweet sweet mommy who I have become close with from afar. I thought omg I am still not 100% on a name, I didn't get to have my baby shower, nothing is ready! But I was lucky to have a few friends and my mom come by on that Sunday my date of my shower and bring LOADS of gifts, clothes and nicknacks, that surely brightend up my day!
So, well I was being prepared and told what was going to happen. Things were all flooding back to my memory of when I had sweetpea Naomi. I called my mom and she was working on the 4th floor, I thought its great she was there and was able to get off, her mananger was able to cover for her until 5 pm that day. So the nurse gives my mom scrubs and she changed and I was just watching everything unfold in front of me. Excited but SCARED!
I was wheeled in and things were started and sure enough my mom is there ready to begin. I kept having the shakes very badly I could not shaking in my arms, probably with the coldness and the spinal I had. I was ready to go about 10:30, and exactly at 11:00 am, my beautiful daughter was born, IT'S A GIRL they said. And I began to hear baby cries, music to my ears. With Naomi, I only heard a "cat's meow" and she was whisked away. They showed me my daughter for a minute and then cleaned her up and wrapped her in a blanket and placed her on my chest for a minute and I got to kiss her little cheek, something I did not have with Naomi. Bittersweet. I could not believe it. She was here. Still the "no name baby" at that point!
I was then wheeled into recovery and things were going well. Baby was sent to NICU and I thought I so did not want to have a NICU experience again but I thought oh I know I will be okay, I was at 34 weeks & 6 days when delivering her. I knew she would be okay, with the steriods on board. She weighed 4 lbs 15 oz! Special note that I had caught, Naomi was born at 9:16 am, and her little sister was born on 9/16. I was hoping and looking for some kind of sign like that! And sure enough I got it. Extra special.
So the next day when I had called to check on my little girl, they didn't give me any updates but had said the neonatologist was sending her to my room!!! I was shocked! Baby was breathing and eating on her own and doing well enough to be with mommy! And just so happened that my mom and dad and grandma were coming to see me and baby and they got to witness baby being brought to my room and mommmy holding her for the first time. She was brought in and I just started to cry and oh I was full of emotions, still am! I thought, okay, I was set on Gracie Faith for a while for her name. But when I saw her I thought she does NOT look like a Gracie. I had only til 2 that afternoon for a name. My dad suggested "Sadie". At first I thought um no, thats an ugly name. But then as I was looking at her when she was being held, I kept saying the name in my head and thought OMG it fits her, she looks like a Sadie!
So, after a bit of thinking, I thought, Sadie Marie will be her name (he suggested middle name as well, which is mine too). I absolutely adore her name the more I say it and see it. The first night I was alone with her in my hospital room, I held her and I just cried & cried. I see SO much of Naomi in her, but not so much a good picture, I see Naomi's memorial look to her when Sadie is sleeping.
I had quite a few friends to come by and visit and see my sweet Sadie and bring gifts so very sweet. I cannot thank my friends & family enough for all that they have done and help support me. My mom had been scrambling to get a crib and changing table and my room done before baby Sadie and I come home! I was so lucky to have had so many gifts brought and clothes from friends, because I was not prepared. I was still scared of buying anything even up until 34 weeks. But she is here! Naomi's sister is here. I was able to be released 4 days later, dr being cautious with my pre e that was considered severe because of my headache my dr said. I was just so surprised and excited that my baby was coming home with me. Being wheeled out of the hospital with the baby in my arms, everyone looking at her, just brought me so much joy yet emotional pain.
It has been a week since I have had my little girlie. When I got home into my room, I saw my memorial of Naomi that my mom had changed, she painted a beautiful pink dresser and painted butterflies on them and when I walked in to see it holding Sadie, I just started to cry & cry. It was beautiful but so so very emotional. I have cried alot since I have been home, missing Naomi but very happy with her little sister. Just hurt because I will never get to see Naomi grow up, or walk or crawl or say mommy. But I do know she has continued to watch over baby Sadie & mommy and has led us to get this far. God Bless my sweet Naomi. Miss you & love you so much.