My petite frame, I SHOULD weigh 110-115 lbs. I need need to lose ten or so lbs. I am upset at myself because Sadie is 8.5 months old and I should have worked my butt off and gotten ready for the summer. I am not liking my body at all now. I see lots of friends statuses on FB about the gym and tanning blah blah. I wish I can afford a gym, lots of my friend work out. I know id feel alot better about myself. But, thats STILL no excuse for my icky ickyness. The outside is available, and its FREE as a bird!
Id love to be skinny again, tone up, tan and look better. I need to learn to do my makeup and hair and shop for a new wardrobe for myself. I think I deserve it. Mama needs a bit of "pep". I am constantly making sure my little girl is always fancy dancy and cute. She comes FIRST. Of course. But, if I can learn to take a few minutes to myself or for myself in the am to look better I think id feel better. Just wish I had more money (don't we all) to help with these things. But I deal with what I have. I have some money, and I am always updating Sadie's wardrobe and not mama's! :) first things first!
But, I've noticed I havent been "myself" lately. Well, I will never be myself again, my life was forever changed. My best friend and even another friend of mine could feel and hear it in me that I havent been. I look at the calendar and I sigh. June 1, Wednesday will be two years, TWO years since Naomi died. I can't believe it. Feels sooo long ago since I have seen her, held her and smelt her soft baby skin. The days keep passing on by and its further I am and have been away from her. I miss her so much. This weekend being memorial day, makes it difficult for me. I am pretty sure the eve when I lost Naomi was memorial day.
I don't have anything planned as of yet to do on her day, but I would like to. Any ideas?
Hope all have a nice holiday weekend.
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