Dear Ellen....I am that girl.

As a 24 year old single mommy, living back at her parents house, going on 2.5 years now, I don't have much time for myself, and that is OK. But when I do have time, I love to sit down, for an hour and watch Ellen. Weather I watch it when she is on or when I DVR it. For example, last night I watched 2 episodes of her that I had on the DVR. I don't watch much. Only Ellen and Dr Oz, and the Doctors, and Desperate Housewives. Otherwise, you won't find me sitting down watching tv. Just do not have time for it nor do I care to watch much.

I got into Ellen when I was pregnant with Sadie. After my 4 hospital stays, being stuck in bed, all I had was the TV and eating my meals or visitors to keep me occupied. So I found Ellen. Let me tell you, best find ever. She is absolutely HILARIOUS. I can picture her smile and laugh when she thinks something is just so funny. Makes me smile. Makes me laugh. Makes me cry Im laughing so hard. WHO does not like to laugh? Anyone?? Yeah, thought so. Well after I had Sadie, I continued watching Ellen. I even got my mom into it. My mom laughs so hard too! When you see someone laughing, you cant help but either laugh or smile. Laughter is contagious. I simply LOVE IT.

So as I sat down and watched my episodes of her last night. Ellen had on those ADORABLE British girls, Sophie and Rosie that have made like EIGHT million views on youtube of their singing of Superbass song of Niki M. It is SO freakin cute! She has had them on like three times I want to say already. The words that come out of her mouth and the accent gets me every time. I had a good laugh watching them. Ellen sent them to the VMA's to interview the celebritties. Also sent Rihanna to pay them a visit. You will have to watch that clip to see what I laughed about. Ellen asking them about a "sack of potatoes".

Then the next one had Black Eyed Peas on. I wanted to record that one because I had just went to their "break" concert. They are having a break NOT a break up. That was a pretty good concert! Cee Lo Green was there, TPain (BEST PERFORMANCE! out of them all and big time slot), Jason Derulo (I was dancing with "riding solo"), Sean Kingston, and Queen Latifah also had an appearance! Anyways, and in the middle of the show, Ellen surprised a deserving family.

Ellen is beyond generous. She is so kind. She has something about her you just do not see. Such a happy and energetic and fun person. Too bad I couldnt get to know her in person! Amd you cannot forget she is HILARIOUS! Well after that story, I just sat there and cried. I felt bad for the family, yet happy after what she had gave them. But I also cried, because that very same family, was ME in a nutshell. This family she had on, was from Florida. (Where I am from). The husband and wife have a 9 yr old boy and 11 month old daughter. The husband lost his job, and they had to move in with their mother in law, was only supposed to be for 3 months but has been going on for 3 years. Their car is in very bad shape and was about to be repocessed. The mother had to sell her own kids xbox to get money. They are scraping the car for "loose change". Yes. That is me.

Ellen surprised them with first a stroller and a couple baby supplies AND a years worth of DIAPERS. She also gave them $10,000 in cash. Of course brought out an X box so she can replace the one she had to sell for her son. Ellen told them they were "limited" on the amount of cars they were allowed to give out. Which had surprised me. She told them they werent able to get one so she gave them money to help out. Well turns out, at the end of the show, she surprised them with a brand new 2012 car (forgot the type). The mom was just SO SO very happy. HEck who wouldnt with a brand new car?

Yes, I am that family. Except I am a single mom, living at home, and yes with the help of my parents. and I HATE it. I do not want to live like this anymore. I am going to school to better myself, but sadly, I wont be out of here any time soon. I do not have a car. I used to be driving my parents old raggy van, but not anymore. I am stuck at home. I just cannot get a job right now. Not possible, I cannot afford daycare. I have absolutely no money to my name. I hate not being able to give to my own child. My parents have to help. Its embarassing, its sad, I cry a lot and lately I have. I said to my mom the other day, I cant get presents for my own daughter. After Naomi that was my dream, to have my child and obviously to support him or her. No my parents are. I ran out of the money I once had. Wasn't much due to a situation from my past. No, not drugs, not nothing of the means you could be thinking of. I PROMISE that one.

It is my DREAM, to have my own car one day, my own PLACE to call HOME. I see lots of friends purchasing new homes and decorating it. I am so happy for them but it saddens me a lot. I feel like I will NEVER get there. I do not want to be 30 and still living with my daughter in my parents home. I want to have the simple things in life. I want to be able to pay bills. I want to do it all. One step at a time, rings in my head by Paula DeAnda. I know I can do this, but just with a little help.

I was invited to a dear rainbow mamas birthday party for her son. I had to tell her today I cant go. I dont have a way over there, 2 hours away, nor can I afford a gift. It feel terrible and I am so sad. I love this little family. I simply cannot go.

So yes, after months of having it on my to do list, I have "wrote Ellen". I am asking for help. And again, I HATE IT. I do not and barely ever do I ask for help. But I am simply stuck. I have tried purchasing lotto tickets and scratch offs hoping to win "big". But that obviously was not in my cards. I am at my wits end of what to do. So yes, I am that girl. Will be sending out my letter today. I know it could be worse, I am lucky to have a home, to have food, to have my little clothing that I have and my sweet little girl. But there comes a time when that wont be enough. I simply need help.