Tick Tock, the clock don't stop!

Where oh where have I been you ask!? Well let me tell you!

Bullets. I shall do bullets. I've been meaning to blog, but just keep saying the famous "tomorrow I swear I will do it". And well 10 tomorrows later, here we are!

* two weeks severe nausea, and NO I am NOT pregnant people. Two weeks ago On a Tuesday, I went out with some friends to watch the Heat game playoffs. I had a couple drinks and 3 jello shots. Woke up Wednesday morning thinking, lovely, a hangover. But I was wrong. I was severely nauseated for two whole weeks. Could not eat or drink a thing. Lost ten lbs tho! I had wanted to lose 15 lbs but not in that manor! I went to my dr and she even goes "last menstrual cycle ?" I LAUGHED. I said dr, I know for a FACT I am not pregnant. It takes two lady and I have NOT been sexually active for a LONG time. So she said prevacid. I didn't take it because I did not have heartburn. I went back to get my last shot for school and told her it's still there. She wrote prescription for a gallbladder ultrasound due to me having some pains as well. I ended up going to the ER on Saturday morning. I decided I would rather have a full workup done. They drew blood and urine test. They said I was dehydrated. No duh. But that was not my problem. They let me go with anti nausea meds. Thankfully I feel better after two whole weeks but I am still a slight nauseated and food still doesn't appeal to me. It's very odd. I did make an apt with a gastro for the 29th. So we hall see!

* My sweet Sadie officially has her first cold/cough. She woke up with it on the official day of summer, June 21. My poor little baby! The first few days were difficult, feeling like I was back in newborn days. She barely slept, I barely slept but I know as a kid and still as an adult, colds are the WORST. call me a baby when I get one! I pray this leaves her soon! I think I did very well from keeping her from getting sick for 9 months! Don't you?! Today was first day she napped without being interrupted by a stuffy nose! Mama was able to nap too. Felt great!

* Casey Anthony. Heard of her? This "mother" is accused of murdering her 2 yr old daughter, Caylee back in 2008. The case is in Orlando. Opening day was about a month ago almost. I remember living with my ex at the time when the search was made to find this sweet little girl. All of the evidence points to her mother being guilty. It just makes me SICK and full of so much anger. I have been keeping up with this case every day and even downloaded an app on my phone. I really pray this "mother" gets justice. She deserves to ROT in prison. Yes, it is a death penalty case but I would rather see her live in prison. If you want more details, court is on everyday Monday to Friday 9 am to 5 pm. On truTV. old court tv station. Changes to HLN at 3. RIP sweet Caylee.

* Last but not least, my lover boy! Ha. Well, not mine yet but the guy I have been seeing and talking to lately, I am starting to like him more and more BUT, taking it very slowly. The other day he came by for two hrs to hangout with Sadie and I. He usually comes by for 5/10 minutes before work or after gym, to say hi and is off. But this time, he stayed and chatted . I had a great time and I hope it stays this way! Sadie definitely likes him and it makes me smile to see him interact with her! I just do not want my heart broken. And it's not me this time. We are a pair, Sadie and I , so it's us, or nothing!

Looking forward to a good weekend!


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It's been awhile!

I know, I know! I am usually always updating my blog and all! I went MIA for a few weeks. I think I needed! I think I shall backtrack and fill you all in on whats been HAPPENIN!

Well, I had wanted to blog about this day but then I didn't. Made me sad. June 1, marked 2 years since my sweet Naomi passed away. The night before, I made cupcakes suggested by a BLM friend who I am pretty close with, to bring to NICU nurses. My best friend came with Sadie and I to deliver the cupcakes that afternoon. I am so very glad she did because it would have been a LOT harder walking into that hospital on my own. I gave a hug to the head nicu director and she let me say hi to the nurses who were in the back having lunch. They admired Sadie. And explained to some of the nurses "remember Naomi, she was in the back along that wall?". And gosh, I could PICTURE always walking in straight to her. I didnt look at any other baby but her. It was a quick stay and then we left. The smell and elevators I will never forget. Just was sad going back to the same hospital on the same day two years ago. Only difference was that it was sunny and beautiful this time. Last time, it was pouring rain. Ill never forget, because i remember running out in the pouring rain to the street and just collasping to te ground. I also, had a candle lit for Naomi all day and Sadie and I walked to the lake and I let two balloons go. And I sat there and cried. Naomi Hope, mama loves you and misses you so very much. Not a day that goes by that I don't think of you. I see you in your little sister a lot. Please take care of your angel friends up there. Love you sweetpea.






Other things going on: the MIAMI HEAT are in the FINALS! Its funny, how I would have never been a basketball fan had my best friend and her family taken me to a game, VIP status that is! I loved it! And well since theyve been in finals, I have been very fortunate and lucky, to have babysitters, my mom and my sisters to watch her (shes basically sleeping) while mommy would go out with some friends and have a few drinks and watch the game! I love it, its so exciting! I also, had reconnected with that guy. Remember him?! From POF?! I blogged earlier about him! Well we had stopped talking and what not For a few weeks. He wrote me on FB and we exchanged numbers again. The first time i would say i was scared and nervous and made tons of excuses to hang and stuff. But this time around, seems better and I am actually wanting to see him. Well hes came out to a few game watching nights! Yes, mama had a couple drinks and was a bit flirtatious with him. I then began to worry thinking oh what if i only like him when i have had drinks??! Anyone can loosen up and feel good after a few drinks. Well we met up again at the park with Sadie yesterday and it actually went very nice. I found out I am attracted to him. But he does know i have Sadie and I want to include her at times as well as mommy needing her time. He actually wants to take me out on a "date" but a group kinda date tomorrow night, at the local sportsbar to watch the MIAMI HEAT game! He said everything is on him :). He is bringing his friend and another friend of his and i am bringing a friend of mine too. I am excited! Mama even painted her own nails tonight to match my outfit for tmw!


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This picture of my best friend and I was taken before on our way to see the HEAT play on tuesday night! They ended up losing! Boo! The must win this one tomorrrow night to pull a game 7 on Tuesday! Lets go HEAT!








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Random Findings

So, there is this huge trial that started last Monday in Orlando FL (which is 3.5 hrs from me). Casey Anthony vs the state. She is accused of mudering her 2 yr
old daughter Caylee, back in 2008. I was living with my now ex husband at the time when this story broke and how they were on the hunt to find her daughter. There is so many twists and turns going on now in the trial that we as the public Did not know. I personally think she is guilty-to what degree? I don't know just yet. It makes me SICK and so heartbroken. I look at my little Sadie and just it boggles my mind how could anyone do such a thing? She is a young mom and they are painting the picture that she wanted to have the party life and not be stuck as a single mom raising her. For God sakes the woman was out partying and clubbing while her own daughter was "missing". The trial is on every day Monday to Friday 9 am to 5 pm on Trutv (old court tv station). At 3pm eastern time it is showing on HLN. I have been GLUED to the tv all day. I would love love love to go and see a day in this case, but I did a little researching and it may be difficult getting my hands on a seat and especialy since I am not local. :( I would love to plan a road trip up there for the day. Just I would be worried about me opening my mouth in open court to ms Anthony. :/ I personally think she has guilty written all over her face. Nothing adds up. This is also a death penalty case as well. There had only been two woman executed in state of FL they mentioned.

On a lighter note, i came across this piece on TV about gender cakes. I did some googling and I think it is just the CUTEST THING EVER! what you do is, when you go to the dr to find out what you are having, you tell the tech or whoever to not to tell you the sex and just write down on piece of paper place in envelope and then from there you take to your local bakery. They will do up a cake or cupcakes with neutral frosting on outside and pink or blue as the cake itself. You then have family and friends (whoever else) to come over just for the cake ( you can make gifts optional). Then as everyone watches, you cut into the cake or bite into the cupcake and voila! You share that special moment with everyone!! I thought, omg I hope to someday have another little one and I would LOVE to do something like this! What do you think? I found some pictures that are too cute!

Okay, last but not least, you know I have to end with a picture of my sweet little girl! (I have to figure out how to place the pictures with the story or paragraph instead of all at the top! Any helpers?!)

Okay, not really. The picture of the baby with the yellow soap on her head....IS ME!!! can you believe it? I showed it to my mom tonight as she came home from work and she goes "OMG". i asked her how old I was there and she said just shy of being a year old. Wowza! Can you not say that doesnt look exactly like Sadie?!?! :)



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Sadness + Grief = eating & eating

5'1=60 inches short. 123lbs. 123= to grossness. I have an excuse, no really I do.

My petite frame, I SHOULD weigh 110-115 lbs. I need need to lose ten or so lbs. I am upset at myself because Sadie is 8.5 months old and I should have worked my butt off and gotten ready for the summer. I am not liking my body at all now. I see lots of friends statuses on FB about the gym and tanning blah blah. I wish I can afford a gym, lots of my friend work out. I know id feel alot better about myself. But, thats STILL no excuse for my icky ickyness. The outside is available, and its FREE as a bird!

Id love to be skinny again, tone up, tan and look better. I need to learn to do my makeup and hair and shop for a new wardrobe for myself. I think I deserve it. Mama needs a bit of "pep". I am constantly making sure my little girl is always fancy dancy and cute. She comes FIRST. Of course. But, if I can learn to take a few minutes to myself or for myself in the am to look better I think id feel better. Just wish I had more money (don't we all) to help with these things. But I deal with what I have. I have some money, and I am always updating Sadie's wardrobe and not mama's! :) first things first!

But, I've noticed I havent been "myself" lately. Well, I will never be myself again, my life was forever changed. My best friend and even another friend of mine could feel and hear it in me that I havent been. I look at the calendar and I sigh. June 1, Wednesday will be two years, TWO years since Naomi died. I can't believe it. Feels sooo long ago since I have seen her, held her and smelt her soft baby skin. The days keep passing on by and its further I am and have been away from her. I miss her so much. This weekend being memorial day, makes it difficult for me. I am pretty sure the eve when I lost Naomi was memorial day.

I don't have anything planned as of yet to do on her day, but I would like to. Any ideas?

Hope all have a nice holiday weekend.








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You're 1 in a million, try 144 million

Okay, so I had this whole post ready to go and blog about my day at Rapids and what not. Sorry, but being up since 6:30 with Sadiekins and being in the sun for uh lets say.. 6 hrs and walking up flights of stairs, lets just say I am beyond pooped. So I will finish that post manana! K?! :)

But, as I type away from blogger on my phone in BED, I must get it out. I have a huge problem thats sneaking up on me and I have absolutely NO idea where it came from. There needs to be an end to this. I know exactly what cab help with that. Its quite simplr actually. May someone ever so quickly whisper the winning lottery numbers in my ear and I will jot them down for Wednesdays HUGE drawing?! Spank you very much, and if you pick the winning lottos, I agree, pinky promise to give you a $1 million. Ok ok no ill stop being greedy. Ill make it $5 million! After all, I would have $72 million.

Sisndisnvisjso <......see that?! Anger. As we were driving up to Rapids this morning, my best friend and I saw this sign. Lately I have been obsessed with the lotto. Never before have i really played but now I am at least weekly. I mean, how hard is it really, to have ALL five numbers and powerball number in order?! Ha!

My best friend and I talk often about it. We get so frustrated because we see alot of older people winning or some that do horrible things with their winnings. We also have discussed on way home tonight, how would we react if we won? I think I would screan at the top of my lungs a little something like this " OH MY FRUCKIN GAWDDDDDDDDD!" . and well my best friend she thinks shed be in complete shock and would maybe cry?! Im curious, how do winners react? What would you do? Ugh. Okay, I better get my oh so hopefull lotto winners butt to bed before I dream" anymore nonsense. As IF i would win. But as I was told recently by a friend, " You gotta be in it to win it."

Night.

PS. You can count me in for 5 maybe 10 plays this time around as I always go for one lousy play!





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Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow..

You're only a dayyy away!

No, I am not practicing my vocal skills (as if I even have any!) but I am back to my book again! It really has some great info in it and I need to jot down these things so I can have in plain view! Remember, I am a huge list writer? ;)

Basically what I have just read on two pages is so totally true and something I need to work on. I think we all do. Have you caught yourself saying "tomorrow I will take that much needed nap? Tomorrow I will enjoy myself, taking me time?" Its always tomorrow. Isn't it? Thats gotta be a huge word in my vocabulary, and I gotta nix it!




Another thief of time is worrying! I am a worrier. Thats for sure. Did you notice most of us go about our daus disconnected from the present? We live in the trance of a daily routine or habits. When we do something over and over again the same way, it becomes old, stale. We easily get stuck in a rut. Are you one of those?! (raises BOTH hands). She suggests changing up your routine. Even a small change, by maybe taking a different route to school or to work, buying a different fragerence or body wash, or new flavor of icecream. I like that idea! Lately, I have been stuck in my rut, thinking how I am "bored and annoyed" with everyday routine stuff. I need o change it up a bit for sure. When I read that bit, reminded me of my best friend. I love her to death, but I noticed when we go out, she gets her "usual" weather we dine out or what not. But the other day we went to Panera bread she said she was going to try a different salad. She did and it was okay but not a fave of hers. But I think its important to try and change your surroundings or new things. We aren't used to change. But as I said before, we both already want a change in our look or hairstyles that is.

If money wasn't an option or in the way, I would get up and splurge on a whole new wardrobe, ie clothing I need BIG time. My 8 month old is more stylish and has more clothes than me. Youd laugh if you saw my closet. Its pitiful especially for being a 23 almost 24 yr old girl! And to come to think of it, when I lived with my ex husband, I made good money and had such a wardrobe and always got my hair and nails done and what not and paid for lunches and dinners, as if I had millions. And thats where my money went, still shooting myself for that one! Anyways, getting a wee bit off topic here. Well, I am in need of shoes big time and purses as well. I keep thinking "when I win the lotto, ill splureee". ;)

While were on the topic of clothing and shoes and what not, where do you shop? Do you have any suggestions on cute stylish clothing for a 23 yr old mama? Thats affordable yet not drop dead grandma looking like clothes?! Hah as my sister would say! I always had cute style but I dont know where my clothing went? I have a tendency to throw out things, like a lot. So don't worry, you'll never see me on that show Hoarders! :)

Speaking of change, I am so excited, being that today the world isn't going to "come to an end by aliens or whatever" I will be going to RAPIDS water park here in well west palm beach tomorrow with the bestie!!! I am so freakin excited. I want to say i have been once for sure, maybe twice but a long time ago, when I was 15! Its about an hr drive from where I am, we will be going to breakfast at IHOP (yummy yet reminds me of when I had my awful 28 week apt with my sweet Naomi) for breakfast around 8 so our tummies are nice and full for the drive.

The park is open 10 am to 6 pm! My wonderful mother gets discounts at work on the tickets so she surprised me with two tickets! Of course I knew I was going to take Bonnie! Who else!? So she said she will watch Sadie for the day! I can't wait this is a HUGE water park with tons of slides and what not. I happened to see a commerical for it yesterday and I screamed out of excitement and the babies just stared at me like "what in the name of God is going on here"- sorry a line from can you guess where!?

So yes, as they say my "Sunday Funday" will be exceptionally exciting! And i will be able to get a MUCH needed tan! Pray the weather holds up! You never know with Florida weather! Hope you all have a great weekend!




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The Hot Mom's Handbook

Have you heard of it? The HMH? If not, do yourself a favor, take you, yourself, and I to the local bookstore or mall OR online and purchase it! At first I thought it was totally something different, but I still am glad I made the $17 purchase! Its so TRUE AND FUNNY!

I am reading a part right *now* and It couldn't be for me any better! I feel JUST like she did. And she's right..."let go of the way your life was "supposed" to be and enjoy what it is. For a long time I attached myself pretty tightly to "the dream". Believe me, the dream did not include being a single mom. I felt guilty about what I did wrong and angry about what my ex did wrong. I was mad at the world and myself. How could i possibly be the best mom with all of that inner frustration? I couldn't. I wasted all that time blaming my ex and myself for my situation. Negative attitudes and energy create more negative attitudes and energy. So break the cycle, I did. Whatever you are holding on to in your life, drop it, let it go. We all get figuratively trapped by our stuff. Letting go of our stuff on a regular basis, be it physical or emotional, gives us breathing room and makes us feel fresh and new."

Now, I am on a mission, several, and one being this one. To be able to say I let go of the EXACT ABOVE". What she said. I can do it, I just have to work at it.

It eats at me everyday, the "woulda, coulda, and shoulda--" as she said again " you didnt, so get over it! Lots of great points but i promise you, not all about that, this is just one mini chapter called "Fever pampers, more pampering-please!" Quite catchy, ey?

I could yap and yap about my oh poor me sad face things I wish I did or didn't do but I will save your and my sanity on that one---for another blog post! Haha, have to get back to these oh so attention grabbing babies! One of which is my darling daughter and other is my nephew. Hes still sleeping, as of 11, and its now 1:15. And my sweet Sadie napped earlier, they happen to be on opposite schedules today because SOMEONE not going to mention any names here, decided to give mommy a lovely usual 6:20 wake up call. Mama rolls over, checks her phone thought oh its 7 or 8 because of the light from my window. Oh no honey, its 6:20 . Gotta love her tho! Up bright and early to start the day!




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