Butterfly World, Eight Months, and Baby Fever, say what!?

How was your weekend? What did you do?

My friend Kylee suggested we go to .She knows of my obsession with butterflies and she had never been. We had both heard the weather wasn't going to be the best but there was not a cloud in the sky. Since Sadie had woken up from her nap, I thought, why not, lets go while it looks good. It was about a 25 minute drive. We got there and we went in and I was just floored. It was beautiful. There were butterflies EVERYWHERE, huge ones and little ones. The one that really caught my eye was the sky blue colored ones, there were like 3 of them together flying around and they were the hugest butterflies I had ever seen. Sadie was just watching them fly around. We walked through there and see all the different butterflies and beautiful flower and plant trees they had. They had music playing and at first I wanted to cry but I was okay afterwards. I associate butterflies with Naomi, everytime I would see one, I would think its her coming to say hello. I particually like the bright yellow ones and associate them with her more so, I think because she always wore her yellow hat in the NICU. It was just a very nice time and I would love to go back again and especially when Sadie is a little older and would really be taken back my all of it. I told her "we are going to go see sissy and all of her friends"! I just went on the site and read about how it came about, pretty interesting, you should take a look!

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Look at me now I am EIGHT months today, Can't you see I am ready to play? Reaching for mommy & pulling myself up, I am a cutie, Yup! Yup! Yup!

I can't believe yet another month has flown on by! Four more months, and my little girl will be ONE, Holy SMOKES!

Each and every day, her little personality continues to shine on through! Its so cute! The things she does at EIGHT months old are:

*she sits up fully on her own now! Has no problem with her balance really and I find it cute but weird to come and get her from naps or in the morning seeing her sitting up like a big girl!

*JUST recently, a day or two ago, has now figured out how to pull herself up, on a box or in her crib OR on mama! Its so cute. She is a little rascal! And is still so little yet short, just like her mama!

* Reaches out for me when I go to pick her up, cutest thing ever!

*Also is starting to babble and baby talk more. bababa and mamama! Cute!

*The other day she started this "cough" thing. Its SO funny! My nephew does it too. Its like a "fake" attention cough type of thing, and yet my mom or I will do it and she will copy. Too funny!! Where do they get this from!?

*ANDDDD, TODAY, well Yesterday (since its midnight now!) I came home from an outing and my mom had Sadie and happened to do "patty cake" with her and kept saying "patty cake patty cake" and would just clap her own hands and SADIE STARTED DOING IT! Its sooo cute! My mom laughed because of her face when she claps her hands. I got a short video on it too! I will certainly share !

*Its amazing all the little things and developments they have. She was born 5 weeks early and seems to have no problems at all, right on target! Thats my girl!

Here is her EIGHT month old "picture"!
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Baby Fever. Yes, I said it. I have ALWAYS loved loved loved babies and children, since I was a little one, well like the age of 12 or so. I am the oldest of four, and have helped with my siblings, babysat for SEVERAL family's children, worked in a daycare for 9 months, and most recently, was a nanny for 2 small little ones. I loved it. Kids are my world and where I belong. Well, as I have never seen or known so many mamams (blms's) and friends who are pregnant, or have just gave birth. I can't help but seeing them and missing being pregnant, all makes me want more! BUT, there are things in the way obv!

1) I just had my sweet Sadie, well feels like yesterday, but she is only 8 months old. And I have to enjoy my time with her while shes little!
2) There needs to be TWO to make a baby, right? And well, I am a single mother. Yes, mam I am! I am also NO where near having another baby, and thats been on my mind lately, too much actually, I even had a dream the other day I was pregnant! YIKES! I am afraid I won't meet the right guy who will accept Sadie and I or will want more children one day. BUT, if not, I am perfectly okay with just my little Sadie, and angel Naomi up in Heaven. I always did say I wanted 2 or 3 kiddies but if this is God's Plan, so be it.
3) I will be starting school in August and I want to graduate with that, (10 months), and be out of my parents home. Yes I realize that will probably be 1-2 years from now, or even longer, but I am willing to wait. I have to be financialy stable as well.

I just love being pregnant, minus the huge worries if I will get preeclampsia again or any other thing that may rise up. I have learned, a positive pregnancy test does not mean a baby in the end. Sadly, I know it all too well. And also, I did have severe preeclampsia TWICE, so I would be risking myself yet again and another babys life IF I decide to get pregnant again.

This is just been on my mind, but alot has to happen before I can go ahead and go for another one, HUGE things. I want to be married, be financially stable and have a job/finished school. I would love to have a little sibling for Sadie one day, and maybe by 5/6 years old so that way shed be mommy's helper! :)

Baby Fever...on HOLD PLEASE but not forever! :)

VIP HEAT GAME!

I can now say, I have went to a Miami Heat basketball game! My best friend invited me to go out Friday night, with her mom and dad and brother and a friend of his to a VIP Heat Game. I thought, what the heck, if I can find a sitter and make it happen, I'll go. I never was before interested in basketball. Only sport I watch, is baseball! Well I am surely glad I gave it a chance! Because I LOVED it!

I started to ask around a few days in advanced of my friends that I would feel okay enough to watch Sadie for 3-4 hrs before my mom would come home from work and take over. Well, my friend Kristin, agreed she would do it for me. I was so happy yet NERVOUS. She has a 9 month old herself so he came along, but I just thought it would be alot on her with two little ones. I made a list for her just the basics and showed her what I do this and that. Just so happened that I was able to put her down for a nap when she got here and she napped for a good hr or so. I texted with her during the game asking how things were going and she even sent me pictures and told me she ate this she did that. So I was content! I was so very thankful for my friend to be able to watch her. Mama doesn't get out often at all, I choose not to anyways, and well, every once and then, is a treat and well deserved!

Turns out, the tickets we had were $600-700 worth! We even got to park in a special area and go in a special elevator. My best friends dad is an accountant so he knows people I guess, where he got the tickets from. We got a buffet and had a great seating along the edge and a good view of the game. We ate an even ordered a "Tropical Heat" drink that was inspired by the heat. I was suprirsed, I actually was getting into the game. And because I could see pretty good from where we sat, I think that helped as well! The player that kept getting alot of points was, the cute and all so famous, DWAYNE WADE, NUMBER 3. He sure is a cutie. ALl throughout the game, they would announce his name because he kept making points, correct term? I don't know, ha!

I found my self making noises and like grabbing at my face with my hands on my face saying omg, oh this oh that, yay and clapping if they got a basket! Ha, I didn't think i would be interested but I certainly was! We then got to go in the suite of ours and that was even a BETTER view. The game was looking early on that the other team, PHILDELPHIA 76ers were going to win, but the MIAMI HEAT ended up coming back and WON the game! It was funny, I noticed mr Wade like slap a guys hand out of the way, it was funnny, I laughed. I saw that my best friends brother and his friends saw that too and commented on it. I just had a great time! And as they said, after getting that VIP treatment, probabouly wouldn't want to go sit in the regular seats ever.

The dinner cost over $700, I was SHOCKED. The parents paid for us all, had I known, I wouldn't have went. I felt really bad, but they said they were more than happy to take us all out. Mama can now offically say she went to a Heat Game, first ever basketball game! Check that off the list! :)


So, wish me luck tomorrow is one of my "4 days" of being with my nephew well babysitting him. I will have him overnight into Monday, my sisters "mommy makeover" is in the morning. Shoot me, I heard the grand total of this lovely "makeover". She can wip out $7 GRAND for this, yet, pay me barely $5 an hour, for watching her son. Hmmm..this will come to an end soon. I am sorry. Just there are circumstances that I KNOW she can afford to pay me better. She just chooses not to. Upsets me. As you all are aware of.

OH! Well, this morning, she came over with her son and we all decided to go with our family too, tubing on the back of jet ski. Let me say I am GLAD I went. First time for that as well, and I had a blast! But rewind to this early morning. She was petting our dog and goes out loud " I wish I only had dogs". My mouth dropped. ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS? Did she just SAY THAT? Yes. No one commented on that statement. I should have let her have it. Here, she had a VERY well behaved 7 month old, went 40 freakin weeks, no problems what so ever during pregnancy. I CRAVE normalcy in that, yet I wont EVER get it. EVER. I was just appauled at that statement. I SWEAR< this is not an opinion, but SHE LOVES HER DOGS more than her own son. I know it , well all do. She has 3 dogs at home. Has always been a dog lover. No problem in that, but my god. Over her own child? She is always worried about leaving all of them at home and constatnly says "i gotta get to my dogs" barely ever hear her talkign about her own son. Its sickening and very sad. But he is very much loved around here, thats for sure. I "wish I had Naomi here with me". But I don't. Try living my life, sister.

SMH. :(

Super Slammin Saturday!

Those 3 words pretty much sum up my day: Super Slammin Saturday! I haven't had a great day like this in a long time. I mise well enjoy my "freedom" while it lasts. Before I know it, I will be way over my head busy in school, and I, cannot wait. I am excited!

This morning, I woke up with miss Sadie around 9:30 to her babling away, she talks mostly in the morning, but never talks like that during the day. Its too cute and funny. I'll have to get on learning my video camera to catch some of it!! I fed her, hopped in the shower (and let me remind you I am never quick to jump in the shower first thing. It takes me a while to wake up and be up for the day!) But I did and it got me feeling awake & fresh!

I made a healthy bowl of oatmeal, with walnuts, raisins and cut up bananas! It was quite filling too. I am trying today again to do well with eating wise. I don't eat too much but its those darn sweets that do it to me! I then ran out with Sadie to the bank & Target. I picked up a gift for my friend Anne's daughter, a little dress, who had a birthday party tomorrow! She LOVES Elmo. Elmo is going to be in attendance and they live down the next neighborhood from us. They have been so giving and kind to me, with Naomi, and Sadie, came to visit me in hospital both times with my girls. So theres no question in my mind, I must go. I was in the asile with the cards and was trying to decide on what "2" year old card to get, then I saw the perfect one. You guessed it! ELMO. As I was looking at it in my hand, all of a sudden, my eyes got filled with tears.

Naomi would be two I remembered in 2.5 more months. I should be picking out a card for her. I quickly gathered the card, grabbed 2 First baby Valentine cards & went out of that asile. I thought it would be cute to get my nephew a 1st card, so I will be sure to drop that off sometime tomorow for him. I also, came upon a FLORIDA MARLINS pink onsie set (2) and I flipped over price and just HAD to get it. I used to be a HUGE fan of the Marlins back a few years ago but then stopped. I figure, I gotta try and root for them this year and get miss Sadie into them! :) So I can't wait to see her in that, and I happened to get 6 to 9 month size, so by that time, they will be in full play and she will fit into them! I am excited!

Finished up the rest of my shopping and ran on home so Sadie can nap. She happened to nap only 30 minutes, silly girl. She does pretty well with no napping. She must be a baby that doesn't need much sleep. Grandfather may be right, she may happen to like the night life, OH MAMA IS IN TROUBLE. ;) I then realized it was going on almost 3 o clock so I had to gather us all up again and meet at Starbucks with a friend.

I happened to text her the other night asking her how she is and we haven't really spoken in a LONG time. She texted back how weird it was that I texted her, that I had been on her mind too! So we ended up making plans to meet for a little. She is a few years younger than I am but a very sweet girl. I met her back 5 years ago, at Renfrew. I went to an eating disorder clinic for 2 weeks back then and happend to find out she lived right in the same town I did! We had a good time outside and she kept commenting on how well Sadie was behaving and how gorgeous she was. Made me a happy mama!

From there, I had plans to meet with my best friend to Color Me Mine. My mom and sister went there a few months ago. It is a pottery type place, you pick an object and paint it and then they fire it up and you pick it up a week later. My mom thought it was very neat and she ended up getting my best friend and I a certificate at Christmas to use. I was a bit weary of taking Sadie with us. My mom offered when she is off to watch her so my best friend and I can go. But, I enjoy taking Sadie places and she was VERY well behaved. I saw alot of people in there and was worried that she wouldn't do so well, but she did! No one would ever notice a baby was in there! My best friend picked out a CUPCAKE :) she did a beautiful job. I can't wait to see it finished all glazed up! I will be sure to post pics when she gets it back!

I happened to pick out a very special thing. It is a surprise tho! I wasn't able to finish it, due to me having to hold Sadie sometimes, I didn't want to mess it up. So I was able to take it home with me, and will go back later this month to finish it. So mine will take somet time, but like I said its very special and I want it to look nice. Oh! On the way when we were almost done, I said "boo!" to Sadie a good couple of times. And she started LAUGHING. My best friend has never heard her laugh. Sadie doesnt laugh every day but every couple days. And I think yesterday I forgot that I had made her laugh by saying "boo!". But this one was just ONGOING. Oh it made me so happy . I was grinning from ear to ear! I love that little girl so much. I have really got to figure out how to work my new video camera. Ive got to get it on camera! Music to my ears!

So it was apporaching 7pm, I thought I gotta get this little girly into bed soon. We were both starving. She didn't have any plans for the rest of the night so we ran up to the mall and got chicken and rice and beans and brocolli and brought it home with us. I was able to put her to bed and we had girl time, ate, and watched episodes of Cupcake Wars! I think its a neat show. It reminded me, I wanna find a recipe to make for my dad. His birthday is coming up, March 2nd! With me now being confident enough, I wanna actually make something! He loves Key Lime Pie. I am not a fan, but for him, he sure is! We looked up Key Lime Cupcakes and found such a cute one, but has a LOT of steps to it. My best friend, is too sweet, she offered to come over and help me make them. I don't think we will need all 24 of them, so she said she would take some to her work with her! I am excited to make those!

While we were watching TV, I happened to get up a few times to check on Sadie sleeping. I just had this gut feeling, she wasn't okay. But I went in and looked at her closely and she is fine. I then did it once more before she left and I came back and my friend thought I maybe heard her. I explained, that I didn't. But that I can't help myself but I am always worried, I feel like she will die in her sleep, SIDS, or something else. I told her I picture myself falling to the ground in HYSTERICS crying. I lost Naomi, she died, doesn't mean nothing won't happen to my little Sadie. And at that moment, I just felt like CRYING hysterically. I can't help but feel that way. I pray to God that it wont ever happen, but, because I am a bereaved mother, nothing is far from not happening. I just can't explain how I felt. I still feel it. But I can't really let it out right now. I love both my girls SO much. A mother's love is simply unexplainable yet the BEST FEELING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD <3