Thursday, January 27, 2011

Face of Loss Face of Hope Feb writing

I belong to a blog called Face of Loss Face of Hope & they asked if we would like to participate in a montly writing:

February’s topic: Valentine's Day is quickly approaching. Write about something special a friend, family member, or other loved one did for you after your baby(ies) died that really touched your heart

After Naomi passed away, it was extremely difficult to be near or with family. You would think it would be the opposite. But I just could not handle it all. I pushed them away. And I look back and wish I hadn't. My uncle, grandma, and Aunt all flew down from the North to come to her funeral. They were all supposed to come to meet her for the first time, not to witness her in her tiny coffin.

I remember my grandma and uncle arriving home with my dad from the airport. I remember trying to dance & smile and just pretend it was a good visit. But I was ever so hardly holding back a RIVER of tears. My uncle, he lost his 9 year old son, 22 years ago, and he told me straight up how it is. "It doesn't get easier, Im not going to lie, you have a tough road ahead of you Jill".

But, through all of this, my wonderful family just let me be, do whatever I needed to do to just "live". I could not go home for awhile after it happened, so my parents opened up their condo on the beach to let me stay for awhile. I needed a "getaway". They also payed and made all the arrangements for my sweet daughters funeral. I just could not take part in any of it. I couldn't think straight. Yet I wish sometimes i did help with that. But I cannot THANK them enough.

Also, my best friend. I don't know where I would be without her today. Her and her family had been WONDERFUL as well. The night of losing my daughter, they rented a hotel for Bonnie & I for two nights I think it was for me to get away in as well. I know also, so many times they offerend me and let me stay in their home as well in the spare bedroom. They were so thoughtful and caring and always asked how I was. I will never forget them or their sweet & kind hearts. I was so beyond grief stricken & here they opened their home and hearts to me, as if I were there 2nd daughter.

I leave a picture of my best friend & I.


*Laura Angel said...

I did not handle any of Cara's funeral stuff either. Just too hard!

Jill said...

awe, really?? i didnt know that. i sometimes think i wish i did something but i just could not. i basically just walked in that day of her viewing and was told what was going to happen. way too hard. hugs

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