Wednesday, January 26, 2011

If only THEY knew....

Yes, I feel like SCREAMING, and at them.

So, earlier today I read not one but TWO fb status' that just really really aggravated me and annoyed me. One that read:

"i swear i wish men were the ones to go through being pregnant and child birth ... like its easy carrying around an extra 30 pounds all in my belly, and having someone kick you all day. Before you bitch about what we do all day, try being pregnant!! ... just saying"

I LOVED when Sadie & Naomi would kick and punch me all day long. I couldn't have felt happier! I didn't get so big with Naomi, so I couldn't say that I was carrying around that extra weight until well after I had her I did balloon up with fluids. But with Sadie, I got bigger than I was when I was pregnant with Naomi, and I LOVED it. I wanted to even get bigger! I craved being uncomfortable, I craved the heartburn (even tho its not so fun! ha) but I craved it all. Pregnancy, and being a woman, I wouldn't change for the world. We get to carry our sweet babies, feel the love from day 1 we get that "pregnant" on our tests, and feel the continuous movements that I miss so much now, but yet am so very happy Naomi's sister is here safe & sound. If only SHE knew.

Then another friend of mine I couldn't BELIEVE wrote:

"please thursday morning come fast!! not feeling good at all today.. :("

So I reply back:Hey, if youre not feeling right, and not good call your doctor & go in today. No need to wait it out & something go wrong within a day. Ive seen & hear it happen. So make a call if you need to Tara.

Then she replies back to others and me & to me replies: jill-i called an tried to make my appointment today but shes the on call doctor an i didnt want to go to the hospital to be sent home so im just going to wait it out till tomorrow morning..

Well, can you guess what through my mind then!?!!?!?!? If you are not feeling well and off, who is one to GO IN AND CHECK ANYWAYS to make sure your baby is okay!?! And she is at the VERY VERY end of her pregnancy. How many times have I read so tragically that stuff goes terribly wrong, and possibly that extra day could have prevented it all? I even think in my case sometimes if only I went in "when this happened & this and so and so" would my Naomi be here today. I would rather go in and make sure everything is okay & be SENT HOME than waiting and going in the next day, and having to deliver a baby and go home WITHOUT my baby. I want to so badly comment again on it but something is holding me back? Actually, just now thinking, I may send her a personel message? Explaining where I am coming from? Yet I just dont want to scare her,(any suggestions!?) but it is a reality, yet I am sure everything is fine, but thats what us mothers may try and tell ourselves when in fact its not? I just worry, when I see comments & stuff like that, it drives me up the wall!

If only SHE KNEW.


Abigail said...

I know exactly how you feel. I have been pregnant 5 times and have 4 children. I suffered a miscarriage. I often said that I wish I was as naive throughout all my pregnancies because once you know what can go wrong it is very unsettling. With this last pregnancy I was so super nervous of everything (I suffered the miscarriage right before this last pregnancy) I often didn't feel "right" or was just super anxious that it has hard to keep track of my babies movements but I didn't want to call the doctor because I was afraid they would dismiss me. It wasn't until I started attending the Hope Faith Remembrance meetings and the others said to me that I should just go in to get peace of mind because it is better to find out if there is something wrong then let things get out of control. You are kind and I wish your friend understood you are only trying to look out for her & her baby! Those of us who have suffered a loss know that things can change from one day to the next in a heartbeat!

Jill said...

oh Abigail, I am so so sorry. I had no idea. :( I am just now reading this. BIG HUGS TO YOU. I dont NOT mean to scare them but I just know, being in the BLM community, I know ALL too well, all and then some that can go wrong and I just want to stop it from happening (if I can) to my friends. :(

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