Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Sign or Ca-winky-dink!?

I was just in my room with baby Sadie, pumping & trying to entertain her, before baby nap time. I had her in her crib and as I was standing doing my thing, I was looking at Naomi's memorial right in front of me. I grabbed a picture of her, of my friend holding her. (You could only see my friends shirt, but I knew it was her). I was just thinking, how could she have held her? I am honestly amazed, yet, I am so glad she did. My friend Kristin, went into premature labor, April 18 2009, and had her baby girl at 23 weeks, living only 2 minutes. We had stopped speaking for a few months, and through myspace back then, we reconnected because she was shocked to see that I had had Naomi already, when remembering she wasn't due until July. Well we met up and she wanted to see Naomi in the NICU. I felt very bad for her but yet didn't really "know that pain" of a loss of a baby, well, until it happened to me, 5 weeks later. She came to visit me and Naomi in the NICU a couple times and even held her, she she was sick. I could not have done what she did, but she is one strong mother. She always has been. I find it odd, and sad, how we both had our babies in April, she wasn't due until September that year. Sweet baby Kiera.

Well, as I was viewing the picture, I just felt gut wrenching pain all over again. I vaguely remembered that she was sick in that picture, I sent a quick text to my friend while viewing it and told her how thankful I was for her to come be there for me while in the NICU even days after her loss.

I was then done pumping and I had to go into the kitchen for something and I happened to look over at the computer. We have a screensaver that is a slideshow of ALL the pictures in the family computer. Just so happens, a picture of a baby chick and an Easter *yellow* Easter egg with Naomi's name on it popped up. My mouth dropped. I was like wow. I always think about Naomi, yet more than ever now, since we are coming up to what would be her 2nd birthday.

Then I come back into my room and start feeding Sadie. And as she is eating, she begins to fall asleep. She always holds out her one arm and her fingers move alot. I happened to notice two fingers were up. And then I saw her pinky go up as well. I said to myself quietly, "Oh my God". Naomi always made the "I love you sign" in the NICU in her little incubator. I don't know what these two things were, or if they were a sign from my sweetpea Naomi. But I will take it. I love and miss her more than words can say. I will never forget that day of how happy and proud I was to have been made a mother, back almost 2 years ago, April 27, 2009. Kisses from Sadie & your mommy sent straight up to you Naomi Hope.

**I just signed on to blog and I was surprised, to see I am at now 51 followers! I have offically reached the "50" mark! :) Last I had seen earlier today was, 48, so thank you all!**


Abigail said...

I think Kristin is an amazing person & a true friend. It is not easy to be in a NICU. There are so many sick babies in there and parents so overwhelmed with so many different emotions. I was there with my girlfriend when her son took his final breaths. It was not something you easily forget. Glad you have been there for one another.
I have been reading more and more of your blog and you have had things occur a little more often recently, and I would think maybe it is Naomi's way of letting you know she is ok since it is coming up on her 2 yr anniversary.
Hugs to you because I cannot even imagine the sadness & confusion you must face on a daily basis with the loss of Naomi & blessing of having Sadie. What a roller coaster of emotions I am sure

*Laura Angel said...

I love signs, although I dont get many :(

michelle hs said...

i feel like i get signs for others, but not for me...glad you had these signs!

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