Monday, April 4, 2011
One day, I will have a car of my very own.
One day, I will have my own house or apartment.
One day, I will have a husband, who loves me for me, not what I can give him, and won't use me or hate on my family.
One day, I will be asked to be married to the right way, and be happily in love.
One day, I will walk down the asile and be smiling and holding back tears while seeing my family and friends and the love of my life ahead of me.
One day, I will graduate from school and say I did it.
One day, I will be able to move out of this house and have a home to call "my own".
One day, I will be paying the dreaded but the bills I crave to be able to pay, ie, insurance, gas, food, etc for myself and Sadie.
One day, I will learn to dance :)
One day, I will learn to cook healthy meals.
One day, I will be able to apply my make up without my sister telling me "do this otherwise" ;)
One day, I would like to have 1 or 2 more children IF I find the right guy.
One day, I want to be like a housewife and a worker, and a mom, and be able to do it ALL.
One day, I want to be able to go out and pamper myself without worrying if I have the money on my card.
One day, I want to be able to say I ran 5 miles.
One day, I would love for my random yet so obsessive thoughts to just go away.
One day, I would like to go to bed for once at 8/9pm and have a good nights rest for once.
One Fine Day...
I am EHAUSTED. What a day, what a week, and my two weeks are almost over? Halfway? I have been watching my nephew since last Monday, and I am totally exhausted. Its like I have twins I tell you. I am proud of myself, I manage it all, somehow. I am always getting compliments on how great I am doing with the babies, or how do I do it all. I just grit and smile and say, I AM SUPERMOM, I CAN DO ANYTHING. Yeah right, add another 10 hands and I will be a LOT better.
I like to think I can do it all. But I can't. LIke for instance, today, I have been trying to keep up with the dishes & kitchen and floor clean (ie thats an EVERY day thing) and being able to keep and entertain the babies and have them on their schedules naps down together so mama can have some "r&r time" that wasnt happening today. They napped completely opposite but I let that go. I did let out a few screams, I just had to get it out. :X I did take them to the mall tho with my friend and that was a nice outing, she hadnt ever seen my 2nd daughter and I hadn't seen her in a LONG time so it was great seeing her, great getting out and passing some time by.
I have quite some busy days ahead of me and the long LISTS are never ending. I am so tense right now, but I wanted to blog before I hop in the shower, do my mama thing and get my little tooshy into bed. Problem is, I just treated myself, to the IPHONE yesterday!!! What a treat that was or is. It is worth it. I did, however, purchase the iphone 3, because I just got to think SMART for ONCE and do with something I can afford for now. I figure when I do graduate school and go on to working I can treat myself and do an "upgrade". But let me tell you, that darn thing is ADDICTING. I cannot get off of it. I find myself addicted to the "words" with friends. I am not one for playing games at all. My best friend keeps trying to get me to play these odd games she likes, I laugh, shes so into it. But, cute but just not for me, besides, I do not have time on my hands to be playing games after games, with 2 little ones.
But yes, I certainly am happy with my phone, but I can't live on it really. Once school starts, I will be very busy, and I can't worry about "facebook" and what people are up to and all this other "unimportant" stuff I really shouldn't be to focused on.
I will blog more about my upcoming dates I am anxious sort of excited about! I will have more free time my nephew will leave tomorrow and will be back on Friday.
My mind is just in jumbles all over all the time. I NEED SLEEP. SLEEP.