So much to do so little time...& ramblings!

I am a list writer. A HUGE list writer. I must write the same things on like three different pieces of paper over and over again. I will cross one thing off that was done and add like 10 more things. Its little thiings too but they all just add up! Drives me nuts sometimes. I am not even working or in school YET, and, I think I am losing my mind now? Wait til then!

I have my Preeclampsia quilt square to come up with and get sent out BY March 1st. I thought I had a design already in mind, but now, I am not so sure. I don't know just yet. My mom went out and got some nicknacks for it, but I don't want to just throw it together. This is something very special to me, and I need to make it right and perfect. A woman on the preeclampsia foundation is making this quilt with our squares and it will be auctioned off at one of the Saving Grace gala's! I am excited. Which speaking of that, that is also on my list, I would LOVE to attend the gala, because one, it is in NYC, where i was born, well Long Island was where I was born, but I have not been back since I was 9 months old or so. I would love to see NY. More importantly, I would love love love to see and finally meet some of the woman I have "met" and kept in contact with from the forums, I hold them all very close and dear to my heart, especially Laura, Ashley, and Erica. I am quite close to the 3 of them from afar. It would be amazing. So that is on my list to look into!

A fantastic note to share, my team for March of Dimes, Spider's Hope, has MADE IT TO OUR GOAL of $1000 and its not even into March yet, we stll have until April 30th! I am so very excited, greatful and pleased by ALL those who donated and who are going to come out and walk with us in April. Means the world to me. I just wish Naomi knew, how loved she is with all the other babies born too soon. This is for her and all of them. I get sad tho thinking about it, but yet I am happy because we are doing great for to help out. I met my dear friend Holly yesterday, with her niece and sister with Sadie to plan ideas for the shirts. It was so nice to meet her yet so so sad, she lost her dear baby boy after 3 months of living, being born too early from severe preeclampsia. What a sweet baby boy she has, that is now holding hands with my dear Naomi.

I also owe money to a few people and need to get a double stroller, Sadie's pictures done, and mommy so badly needs more clothing BUT I am waiting until I can drop my last 10 or so lbs. I also need to get a picture book or scrapbook started, or I am going to be WAY behind. I want all of Sadie's picture developed but that would cost a LOT of money, that I do not have right now. So that will have to wait. But I really want it going. Or I may just have to pick out my favorite pictures from each month or so and figure out something!

I am So SO so upset, about something. But I cannot go backwards unfornately. HOW in the world, after my loss of Naomi, and what I went through and continue to, not get professional newborn pictures of Sadie?!? It kills me. I know I didnt have the money, but I could have so easily asked to borrow some from my parents, or best friend, or anyone and make a payment plan. But I didn't. And I see and hear of all these 'rainbow mamas' getting theirs done and I think what the heck was wrong with me? Yes I have pictures of her from then but not professional sweet poses of her. I can NEVER get those back. I know she would have made beautiful pictures. Ugh, but I cant go back. Nor did I get maternity photos done, which upsets me greatly, but I guess what matters the most, is that Sadie is here safe and sound. My best friend did get me a giftcard to get her pictures professionally done, she is now 5 months old, not newborn anymore, so I should get them done while she is still "little" .

One more thing to add! I was watching Inside Edition with my mom and grandma tonight and with the babies, and they spoke about a story, Christina Applegate had her baby girl after battling breast cancer. They introduced her: Sadie Grace! My mom and I both looked at each other and said "aweee!" So sweet. Its funny, because I googled the story on my phone, and came up to comments on the story about the name "Sadie". Alot liked it, but others, also said that it is a dog's name. Yikes. When my dad mentioned it to me in the hospital after I had her, thats what I thought too, but I cant picture her having another name, i really do love her name, maybe Sadie is coming back!? A very warm and happy congrats to Christina and her family and welcome to the world baby Sadie Grace!